Railroad Wife, Railroad Life

Before I get to my topic of choice, I just want to put up a disclaimer of transparency ahead.  I am not going to pretend the last 5 years have been a walk in the park.  Truth be known, I still get a large bump of anxiety from August 12th to January 7th.  Every.  Single.  Year. Anyone who knows me knows that 5 years ago Kennedy and I each had our very first surgery together.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't proud of this.  I am so thankful that God provided for every need that came up to make fetal surgery happen.  It doesn't happen for everyone who qualifies for the surgery.  Not only was I able to do this with Kennedy, but I was also able to nurture some relationships that had been left unattended for too long.  One of the conditions of having fetal surgery was to stay within the Cincinnati area until delivery.  We were very fortunate that the Ronald McDonald House of Greater Cincinnati had a room open up for us while I was...

Recently I've tried to get back into reading a book by Ann Voscamp titled "One Thousand Gifts".  A friend from a mom group recommended I read the book while I was struggling with a miscarriage in early 2013.  I've tried several times to make it through the book and get side tracked with another book, or life, or any other excuse I could muster up.  In an attempt to focus more on the book and the value it could add to my life, I checked out the audio book online and am listening to it while reading it.  This has been a game changer for me.  Voscamp actually reads the audio book, so words that get lost on a page regain their meaning in her voice. While Voscamp is considered a Christian writer, I encourage those who don't believe to read it, along with those who are trying to break out of a relationship rut with God.  She says things aloud (or on paper) that every person has asked when faced with a dark time in their lives.  This book really dives deep ...

It goes without saying that children grow up in the blink of an eye.  If it wasn't true, Kenny Chesney wouldn't have a hit song discussing the a topic.  However, when you're the parent of a child with special needs, you get to savor some of the "baby" moments a little longer.  Sure the numbers go up the same, but sometimes that's all. Due to the circumstances surrounding Kennedy's birth, she started life behind the 8 ball, so to speak.  It was bitter sweet for me, because I loved seeing her fight so early in life and I got to have a baby for a little while longer.  However, it was frustrating and very hard to watch when she'd take a "step" forward only to take two steps back in the NICU.  I'll never the Christmas night of 2013.  Jonathon was holding Kennedy and had just finished giving her a bottle.  Kennedy's oxygen level started to drop and instead of giving her a second to correct it on her own a nurse, who wasn't familiar ...

In December of 2016 I began having serious pains in my side.  I called my PCP who told me to go to the ER.  A family friend brought their kids to our house to watch Savannah and Kennedy while he took me to the ER.  Jonathon was out of town, but was heading to Evansville.  At the ER it was discovered that I had a cyst on my right ovary.  The ER Doctor told me to follow up with my OB-GYN within the next two weeks.  Unfortunately, the next two weeks consisted of Christmas and New Year’s Eve celebrations.  January 11 th , I was able to follow-up with my OB-GYN.  Another ultrasound confirmed the cyst was still there.  Something I already knew because I was still having pain from time to time.  The OB said since the cyst hadn’t resolved itself she would like to remove it surgically.  January 18 th I had surgery to remove the cyst.  Before the surgery I had asked the OB to also remove my mirena IUD and tie my tubes.  After the ...

July 11th is a day that has collected meaning over the last 11 years for Jonathon and I.  July 11, 2005, Jonathon started his career with CSX.  Unbeknownst to us at the time we picked our wedding date, but July 11, 1931, my Great Grandparents, Ike and Emma Roberts were married.  July 11, 2009, Jonathon and I were married. When I was growing up, every summer my Great Grandparents, Grandma and Pop Pop Roberts, would always come out to Colorado from Florida for a month. Looking back, I realize how blessed I was to not only get to know them, but to have their example set before me.  They were that cute old couple who were still holding hands and still had the light and adoration in their eyes for each other.  There's a picture somewhere of them standing in their double wide holding hands and their eyes are just twinkling and out pouring with love.  You can tell after all the years they'd been married, they were just as in love with each other that day as th...

Dear Shiloh, In 2 short months your world will be completely turned upside down.  You may not know it now, but that sweet little girl inside your belly has a hole in the bottom of her back.  Don't worry, she's going to be fine and you will make it through the other side a much stronger person.  You're going to be given the option to have a surgery while that sweet girl is still in your belly.  Take it!  You're going to be given a lot of paperwork and a book that explains what Spina Bifida is and all that comes with the diagnosis. Throw it all away!  None of that literature is going to matter when you see that sweet little girl for the first time.  You're not going to thumb through the pages when she bears weight for the first time.  No amount of literature is going to prepare you for that first time she needs a surgery when she's not even 2.  Nothing in those pages will comfort you when you are faced with the reality of her finally needing a...

A week and 1 year ago today, I received my final wake up call.  Pictures from Mother's Day were posted on Facebook and I could no longer deny that I needed to do something about my weight.  My clothes were no longer fitting.  I'd actually just gone shopping for clothes for our cruise and it was so unpleasant.  I cried because clothes weren't fitting like they should unless I went up to the next size.  Even then I hated what I saw in the mirror.  I'm so thankful I had someone to help me out of my hole.  Not only has she helped me completely transform on the outside, she's also loved me where I'm at and given me some direction to grow as a person. On June 6th, it will be 1 year since I started my first 24-day challenge.  During those 24 days, I lost 12 pounds and 13 1/2 inches.  10 of those pounds alone were toxins that processed foods left in my intestines.  Since that first challenge, I've used clean eating as a guide post and contin...