Kennedy is 4!
It goes without saying that children grow up in the blink of an eye. If it wasn't true, Kenny Chesney wouldn't have a hit song discussing the a topic. However, when you're the parent of a child with special needs, you get to savor some of the "baby" moments a little longer. Sure the numbers go up the same, but sometimes that's all.
Due to the circumstances surrounding Kennedy's birth, she started life behind the 8 ball, so to speak. It was bitter sweet for me, because I loved seeing her fight so early in life and I got to have a baby for a little while longer. However, it was frustrating and very hard to watch when she'd take a "step" forward only to take two steps back in the NICU. I'll never the Christmas night of 2013. Jonathon was holding Kennedy and had just finished giving her a bottle. Kennedy's oxygen level started to drop and instead of giving her a second to correct it on her own a nurse, who wasn't familiar with Kennedy and wasn't assigned to her, stepped over and began to "stimulate" her to bring her out of the episode. We were 3-4 days away from going home. Thanks to that nurse, it was now 8 or more. I remember being so angry, because, at that moment, I blamed that nurse for keeping us there that much longer. Fast forward to the next day, Kennedy was being fitted for a car bed. Her nurse was feeding her and she began to have another episode. This time the nurse gave her a chance to come out of it and she didn't. Then the nurse started to stimulate her and she still wasn't coming out of it. I felt so helpless watching my child turn blue and not being able to do a darn thing about it. She finally came out of it, but had she kept going the nurse was about to pull the "Code Blue" lever next to her bed. At that moment I had such a conflict of emotions. I feel like God was telling me it wasn't right to be mad at that nurse, because Kennedy truly wasn't ready to come home yet. I remember being such a ball of emotions and crying on the shoulder of a nurse who had been with Kennedy since she was born. Obviously, Kennedy eventually came home, but the first year of her life wasn't exactly the same as Savannah's first year of life.
I don't like comparing my kids, because they are two completely different people. They are literally like day and night. However, to make my point, I'm going to compare them. You see, Kennedy came home at almost 2 months old, in newborn clothes. She wasn't growing out of clothes every few weeks like Savannah did. There were clothing sizes she never even wore because she grew so quickly. Savannah was rolling over at 5 months old, she was crawling not long after that, and walking before she was a year old. Kennedy didn't even army crawl until she was 9 months old. She was over a year old before she started to crawl. She didn't walk until she was almost 2. She stayed in 18 month clothing from 2-3 years old. Thus to say, it was nice having a child who stayed a baby a little longer than most kiddos do. It was also a perk to get some use out of the clothes that Savannah wore one or two times.
I don't like comparing my kids, because they are two completely different people. They are literally like day and night. However, to make my point, I'm going to compare them. You see, Kennedy came home at almost 2 months old, in newborn clothes. She wasn't growing out of clothes every few weeks like Savannah did. There were clothing sizes she never even wore because she grew so quickly. Savannah was rolling over at 5 months old, she was crawling not long after that, and walking before she was a year old. Kennedy didn't even army crawl until she was 9 months old. She was over a year old before she started to crawl. She didn't walk until she was almost 2. She stayed in 18 month clothing from 2-3 years old. Thus to say, it was nice having a child who stayed a baby a little longer than most kiddos do. It was also a perk to get some use out of the clothes that Savannah wore one or two times.
This year though, I feel like she completely skipped over the "toddler phase" and went straight into little girl mode. Two years ago, she'd just started using a K-walker to move around. In January of this year she started using forearm crutches part time. The end of April/beginning of March she was given the all clear to use her crutches full-time. Now she's walking with 1 crutch most of the time, but usually can walk a considerable amount unassisted. Two and a half years ago, she could barely put 2 words together. We'd started developmental therapy because she wasn't talking and didn't take to sign language very well. After she had her shunt placed, her speech took off like a rocket. Last year she was tested for speech to qualify for therapy through the school corporation. The Speech Therapist said she didn't need speech anymore because her vocabulary was age appropriate.
All of this to say, I've finally lost my baby, but I will savor every "baby" minute I got with her. I will never stand in her way (she'd probably beat me with her crutch if I did) and I will only stand here in awe of the little ball of fire and sunshine that she has become. I know I always say, I can't wait to see what she does next. Truly I can't, because she has surpassed every obstacle I worried about and prayed over, after her diagnosis. As Mom's we try to imagine what our child will be like, while they are still nestled inside our bellies. Two times I imagined and two times my mind has been blown away.
Happy 4th birthday, Miss K. I can't wait to see all the magical things you accomplish in your new year!
All of this to say, I've finally lost my baby, but I will savor every "baby" minute I got with her. I will never stand in her way (she'd probably beat me with her crutch if I did) and I will only stand here in awe of the little ball of fire and sunshine that she has become. I know I always say, I can't wait to see what she does next. Truly I can't, because she has surpassed every obstacle I worried about and prayed over, after her diagnosis. As Mom's we try to imagine what our child will be like, while they are still nestled inside our bellies. Two times I imagined and two times my mind has been blown away.
Happy 4th birthday, Miss K. I can't wait to see all the magical things you accomplish in your new year!
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