Held

 Isn't it crazy how you seem to model situations in your mind after other situations that have happened?  For example, I thought for sure my Pop-Pop had another 10 plus years because his mom lived to be 97.  Then came 2020.  2020 has definitely been the year of elevated pain, suffering, loss, and unimaginable circumstances.  I don't know a person on the planet who could say they will remember 2020 fondly.  Unless they welcomed a child into the world, of course.  That's the cycle of life isn't it?  As we welcome in new life, we are forced to eventually say good-bye to the lives that created the foundations of our very own lives.  I'm sure while they are sad to leave the lives they've touched, they too have carried a sadness with them and are ready to see the people who they had to say good-bye to long ago.  

The very foundation of my life began in a home closely resembling that of the 90's hit show "Full House".  We lived with my grandparents until 1986 when they moved into the house that was my Pop-Pop's residence when he passed away.  Looking back I don't know how we all fit in that house.  At one time we had my grandparents, my uncle, my parents, Jayme and I, plus 1-2 half siblings.  Grandma and Pop-Pop were so gracious about the circumstances my Mom married into.  They accepted my half siblings like their very own grandchildren.  

While he was a part of my foundation, let me talk about his foundation.  Pop-Pop was born, May 1, 1934 in Dover, Delaware.  His father, Marceau Parmentier, Grandpap,  was in the U.S. Army.  His mother, Louise Ann Richardson Parmentier, Munners, was the stereotypical military wife.  She was strong and independent to a fault.  She traveled across the mainland of the United States and across the pacific ocean to Pearl Harbor, Hawaii with a young child, to join the recently stationed Grandpap.  While in Hawaii, Pop-Pop became a big brother to Aunt Joyce.  He was also a small boy when the attack on Pearl Harbor occurred.  The morning of the attack Grandpap was to have breakfast aboard the USS Arizona, but had to cancel at the last minute because Aunt Joyce was sick.  As he got older he didn't remember much about the day, but Munners could still remember seeing the Japanese pilots flying low over the island. 

After Pearl Harbor, Munners, Pop-Pop, and Aunt Joyce were sent state side.  Grandpap was then stationed at Fort Monmouth, New Jersey.  While at Ft. Monmouth Pop-Pop and Aunt Joyce welcomed two additional siblings, Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Roger.  When Grandpap retired, the family moved to Long Branch, New Jersey.  It was in Long Branch that Pop-Pop would take a liking to the new preacher's oldest daughter.  After graduating high school in 1952, Pop-Pop attended Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pennsylvania.  While in college he pledged the Eta Chapter of Phi Kappa Tau.  

After graduating college, he married Grandma on June 30, 1956.  Less than a year later, on June 21st, they welcomed their first child, a son who would be a Junior to Pop-Pop.  I affectionately call him, Uncle Tom.  

Eventually Pop-Pop was transferred out west with Martin Marietta to Denver, Colorado.  Not long after he moved his little family, Grandpap and Munners joined them.  Denver would be where Grandma and Pop-Pop would spend the rest of their lives.  While some of their dialect still reflected that of New Jersey, they always considered Colorado to be home.  It was also in Denver where they rounded out their family with a daughter, my Mom, and another son, Uncle Rob.  A couple years before Uncle Rob was born, Pop-Pop lost his father, Grandpap. 

 On July 16, 1970 the family kissed Uncle Roger good-bye as he was heading off to Vietnam.  A month later two Army Officers and a Chaplain would knock on Munner's door to tell her he'd been killed.  He was only 23 years old.  While I wasn't alive when Uncle Roger died, I can tell you that I have felt the pain his death inflicted upon my family.  I remember vividly as a child going to Fort Logan to lay flowers down on Uncle Roger and Grandpap's graves with Munners.  The stories, the pictures, the questions of what would have been still haunt my family to this day.  Even though I never met him, I get choked up when I visit his grave.  I get chills when I see the son he never knew he had, because I feel like I'm looking right at Uncle Roger.

 In September of 1975, Grandma and Pop-Pop were sending their first born off to Western State College.  Pop-Pop didn't know it yet, but Uncle Tom would follow in his footsteps to a career with Martin Marietta.  

 At age 47, Pop-Pop acquired a new title.  That's right, Pop-Pop became a Pop-Pop!  Two years later, he became a Pop-Pop again!  I was crushed when they moved into their new house in 1986.  Grandma and Pop-Pop were infectious to be around.  They also took the Atari with them.  But seriously, I always craved being around them when I was growing up.  I loved staying over on the weekends and going to church with them.   

 I remember one time we'd gone to the grocery store with my mom on a Saturday afternoon.  Like most kids do, Jayme and I tried helping my mom bag the groceries at the checkout.  When we got home, my mom realized in all the chaos we'd created trying to help, she'd left a couple of bags behind.  We were in a lot of trouble that day.  Magically a few hours later Grandma and Pop-Pop showed up out of the blue and took Jayme and I to funplex and then to stay the night at their house.  It was the best day ever.  After that day any time we'd get in trouble, I remember secretly hoping Grandma and Pop-Pop would show up and surprise us again.  

Shortly after high school, I moved in with Grandma and Pop-Pop.  After a seasonal job at the mall, Pop-Pop was able to help me get a job at Home Depot.  He was even nice enough to co-sign on a loan for me to buy my first new car.  Two years later, Pop-Pop co-signed on a loan for me to start my college career at UNLV.  Having no experience with how college fee's worked I waited to the very last minute to fill out my FAFSA and apply for student loans.  When the bill came for my first semester, I was freaking out.  Pop-Pop loaned me the money to pay for my tuition, room and board, and book fee's.  He said he wasn't going to let thing like money prevent me from starting out college on the right foot.  My first semester at UNLV, he and Grandma supported me and paid my bills for me as I was trying to find a job.

When I decided UNLV wasn't the right place for me, he supported my decision to transfer to the University of Kentucky.  Due to lack of credits to transfer I had to spend 1 year at home.  I spent that year working full time and attending night classes through Arapahoe Community College.  Once or twice a week Grandma and Pop-Pop would meet me for dinner after work, so I wasn't eating so late after my classes were over.

The summer before my first semester at UK, Grandma, Pop-Pop, and my best friend Mike drove across the country to Lexington, Kentucky to tour the campus and get registered.  A little over a month later, he and my mom drove with me back to Lexington to help move me into my new apartment.  The following year, he drove my car with a u-haul behind it to move into a house I was going to be sharing with a roommate.  The day after we got to Lexington, Pop-Pop took me to Home Depot and helped me pick out a toolbox and tools that I would possibly need around the house.  He was always so thoughtful about things like that, and I loved him for it.

When it was time to get married, Pop-Pop was 1 of 2 men to walk me down the aisle.  At the reception he was one of my first dances.  He picked "Swingin'" by John Anderson because he and I would always sit on the back porch swing in that first house, way back when and swing.  He'd also sing that song as we were swinging.  It's a memory I will keep with me forever.

If anyone knew Pop-Pop, they knew how much he loved the Lord and how much service he put into the church.  He was a Deacon, served on consistory, held prayer groups, and attended most mens group functions.  A couple years ago I sent him a text and asked if he was watching the impeachment hearings on TV.  His response is the only reason I remember this exchange.  He said he wasn't watching because he had better things to do, like reading his Bible.....and watching the Smithsonian channel.  We followed each other on the Bible app and I loved seeing his daily studying and devotions pop up in my feed.  I will always miss that.  

After Pop-Pop's granddaughters were grown, he got to relive grand-parenthood all over again with two grandson's, Keegan and Corbin, joining the family.  While I was attending college at UNLV, Keegan was born.  The first week of attending UK, Corbin was born.  How Pop-Pop adored those boys and enjoyed spending time with them, and watching them grow.  In a way, I grieve for the boys, because they won't ever see Pop-Pop proudly wear shirts from their colleges.  He won't follow the sports teams of their respected colleges and discuss their standings with them.  

If you're still with me, you know how much love I have for this man.  He was more than a pop-pop to me.  In many ways he was the father I wish I had growing up.  He's the father who stepped up when my biological father didn't.  He was the greatest man I ever knew.